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Month: September, 2011

I am bored

and I want to squeeze some boobs.

end.

wikileaks

Welcome to Wikileaks, the ET(Entertainment Tonight) of politics. We are nothing more than a flock of pompous liberals disguised as “independent” journalist hoping to bring unity amongst similar birds. Although constantly claiming to be objective and an imperative platform to alleviate evil lies from our unforgiving media, truth is, we can be best described as petty, baseless and immaterial. So shut and suit up Al Gore, because the world knows global warming is a scam and we are always keeping an alert eye on your dress sense. To politicians all around the globe, its futile to hide the price tag to your tuxedos, we KNOW.

The news we leak are more times than not trivial, ranging from the latest carnal scandal of politician X to racial slanders from politician Y. As unsupported as our sources can be, the punch it packs is massive to the earth we stand on, suspectibly the cause of both Haiti’s and Japan’s earthquake. We pray that more independent thinking can be done on the part of citizens as we piss and pontificate our views on them. Don’t question us if you want to be an independent thinker.

Rather than accepting the simple wisdom of not everything is meant to be known to everyone, we enjoy spending our weekends probing into the rendezvous of Yingluck Shinawatra. All forms of dogmas and orthodoxy have to die by the year 2030, as these are just instruments to smoke the general public from the ultimate truth of our world; conspiracies are awesome. With that tirelessly said, the choice is entirely yours in subscribing to us, but if you choose not to, be sure to be labeled as blinded, inflexible and incapable of critical thinking.

Once more, my name is Wikileaks. I can sense that you are bourgeois and bored, so be my friend, be trendy and be-lieve in me.