jealousy

by chaotarroo

i am ill natured.
defined not by upbringing but thoughts and ego that mechanically engineer me through the years.
it’s not an inherent makeup! i know for well.
the memories are shifty but i do remember those days that i basked in simplicity.
it’s an undoubtedly slippery journey!
to trace the first idea, the spark that ignited my skepticism and loathe for doohickeys.
but i want to!
and built a time machine! altering the conception of so, to live like a different fool!
it’s more tiring than you think,
to live constantly with a shitload of morbid thoughts and ego filled tins.
ahhh crap, in this unpleasant days,
i must confess. there’s more things to hate, more things to break and to stare with morbid gaze.
when will the sea of serotonin ebb, and when will waves of dopamine hit the shores,
i want to know, and have something worth living for.

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